With his towering bouffant increasingly resembling a Coldstream Guards bearskin hat, that Manchester United Fan With The Hair is currently on Day No 380 of his personal “challenge” not to get a trim until Manchester United win five consecutive matches in all competitions. A journey that predates Ruben Amorim’s arrival at Old Trafford and began as a joke between friends, Frank Ilett’s daily dispatches from the frontline of Social Media Disgrace subsequently grew traction due in no small part to his team’s comical inability to win more than one Premier League game in a row under Amorim. Ilett and his increasingly long locks have captured the public imagination to such an extent that several weeks ago a follically-challenged, fellow United fan chose to attack him at Old Trafford for the heinous crime of having a high barnet, while yesterday a Portuguese reporter raised the subject of the challenge with Diogo Dalot in a post-match interview. “We’ll see,” said Dalot, upon being told that Ilett would probably sleep easier for a while, now that United had finally strung together back-to-back top flight wins for the first time under Amorim. “We hope that we can give him that haircut.”

While Amorim...