Discipline has long been one of the cornerstones of a successful dressing room in England. If John Eustace’s Birmingham City players did not wish the training ground reception staff “good morning” they were issued with a £250 penalty. Steven Gerrard implemented a variety of fines when manager of Aston Villa for players leaving flip-flops in the shower (£50), forgetting to bring a cake for a birthday (£50, Yaya Touré: look away now), leaving plates and cups on the dining table (£100 an item). When Frank Lampard replaced Maurizio Sarri in 2019-20, Lampard immediately introduced a series of internal disciplinary fines for first-team players. Late for training? That’s £20,000, guv. Failure to report knack or illness before a day off? That’s 10 large. Phone rings during a team meeting? One thousand English pounds, thank you very much.

Chelsea have again swapped an Italian for an Englishman and, while we’re not privy to the new disciplinary rules under Liam Rosenior, it turns out that “flirting with hacks over a move to Real Madrid” is not an unpunishable offence. Rosenior has had something of a PR problem since his appointment but for all his over-earnest, High Performance rhetoric in “protecting the culture”...