David Luiz keeps out the Man City hordes, while Martinez stands guard

Who remembers playing “next goal wins” as a schoolboy?

You’d be playing footy with a bunch of other urchins in the street or in the back garden or on the local playground. It was getting on to dark and most kids knew they were due home for their tea soon.

Invariably someone would say “next goal wins.” It would really piss me off. There were so many times when my team was winning something like 27–16 and the other lot would score the “next goal” and claim victory.

This manner of victory was not in the Football Association rulebook, or in the Marquis of Queensbury code. It would doubtless cut little ice at the Court of Arbitration for Sport.  But there was a certain moral weight to this playground Darwinism: what had gone before didn’t matter – “next goal wins” was the only measure by which to judge the victor because it was the most recent register of superiority.

By the rules of the playground, Arsenal are now the best team in England.

A week ago Liverpool were the best team, Manchester City were the...